Super Bowl My Ass (or how I learned to stop caring and love the whine)

As you might or might not know, I am a Seahawks fan. It's been rough and I'm sorry to admit that over the years my interest in the team has waned because of their constant letdowns and overall mediocrity... This is what you sign up for as a Seahawk fan (or any fan in general unless you are very lucky), and it is a well known rule that to give up on your team or to not put everything you have behind them in every situation is equivalent to sin. I consider this post to be a sort of confessional for me to vent just a little and show where my allegiances lie. Now on with the show:

This was the first time since '96 that I have been able to enjoy one of my teams in a Championship Game (in '96 the Supes lost to Michael Jordan and the Bulls who were beginning their second Threepeat), and I was more than moderately excited. I wasn't concerned that the Steelers were 4 point favorites heading in or that approximately 256,365 Steeler fans showed up compared to Seattle's 7.

As the game wore on I could tell this team was not only beatable but likely to be beaten even with the missed chances the Seahawks were amassing through an assortment of drive killing penalties and dropped passes. We were holding up the Steeler's blitzburg packages that had been talked about all week with relative ease and this was the brightest sign of the night.

When Seattle took the field for their final drive of the first half I started to have my doubts especially when D-jack's TD was called out of bounds (much more on this later). We ended up with nothing, missing a 50 yard field goal as time expired. No worries right. I certainly wasn't worried at that point. Maybe I should have...

I'm not going to talk about the officiating too much because it's already been dissected by everyone in the "real" media (that's right, I am a self-proclaimed member of the "fake" media). One drive that stands out was in the fourth quarter right before Hasselbeck's costly INT during which there was a Horse collar tackle not called, a phantom holding penalty, and a block below the waist called on Hasselbeck while he was making a tackle. Seriously... how can you call it a block when the player is on D? It seems a little counterproductive to be blocking someone on D.

Here is a list of partisan grippers that I feel adequately put the debacle into perspective:

1) Micheal Smith - "Here's what referee Bill Leavy's crew did, point blank: It robbed Seattle."

2) Skip Bayless (who had been killing us in the media for weeks on end for being undeserving) - "On this night, the Steelers had their own version of [the Seahawk's] 12th Man. He wore a striped shirt and a whistle. He threw a flag."

3) Gene Wojciechowski (just so I can say I'm presenting both sides of the argument) - "Enough already with the whining. The Seahawks had their chances. Plenty of them to overcome the Steelers and, if they insist, the refs, too."

OK I lied... More gripping about the refs along with indisputable video evidence showing Seattle got jobbed (at least for one touchdown). Did I mention I had a three-way $100 bet on this game? FUCK!



How is this not a Touchdown? It's a documented rule that if you touch the pylon while still in-bounds it's a touchdown. D. Jackson caught the ball, his left foot hits in-bounds then his right foot hits the pylon - TD right?!?! In the rulebooks yes but not at this Superbowl.

"A player no longer can be ruled out of bounds when he touches a pylon unless he already touched the boundary line." Straight from the NFL site, ruled changes made in March of 2002!

In fact John Clayton wrote about this exact rule change on ESPN as well: "A player will be ruled in bounds if he touches the pylon at the goal line before going out of bounds. For example, a pass would be considered complete if one foot touches the pylon and the other foot is in bounds". Which happened exactly as the rule is written to the letter. Unreal.

But since it was inside 2 min mark Sea couldn't challenge it (why is that anyway?), and the replay official didn't even stop play to review it. AND Pit called a timeout to stop the clock. Which gave them plenty of time to call for a review. WTF?

And the NFL has the audacity to support the officiating by saying it was 'properly officiated'. The ESPN poll asking readers whether or not they agreed with the NFL on this issue shows that (at the time of this post's publishing) out of 32,778 people polled 78.4% disagreed with this assessment. Of course I did vote about 24,834 times so maybe I skewed the data a bit. Now you must please excuse me while I go rip my eyeballs from my skull with my bare hands...

Enough about officiating. Moving on to the walrus...

What was Holmgren thinking, down by 11 at the 50 yard line, punting on 4th and about 12 with 6:30 to go in the game? Doesn’t he know that the only thing Pittsburgh has been able to do all season is run the clock out? Predictably the punt sails deep into the end zone for a touchback.

In conclusion I don't blame the refs, even though I should. The game was very winnable, but in-game coaching blunders (especially at the end of the halves) doomed the Seahawks when they still had at least a chance to come back. However, you can be damn sure I'm going to be bitter about this game for a long time.

The Imaculate Detention

Here is something that will shock and amaze. Well not too much considering he was an evil Steelers fan. Hopefully this will put karma on the Seahawks' side.

It's Official: I'm a Bill Simmons Wannabe...

I first noticed it when I started to quote His Playoff Gambling Manfesto. Then came the unending viewings of "The Karate Kid". Now I've taken the next step: Welcome to my Running Diary of the Patriot-Broncos playoff game on 01/14/06. Once again I will preface this post with the statment, "it is crap." Now on with the Diary (which by the way even though it's posted a little late I my thought processes hasn't changed and this is all what was originally written down in my notebook):

9:14 - Holy Shit, there's the alarm.

9:16 - Just put on my patriots 2001 AFC Champions t-shirt. Since I have owned this shirt they have won 3 of 4 Superbowls and have not lost a playoff game. Think it will be enough to beat the broncos by 4? (I told you didn't I? I'm turning into Simmons with all his superstition. Next thing you know I'll be talking about how "The Shawshank Redemption" is one of the greatest movies ever made... OK probably not).

9:20 - Called my buddies to see if they are coming over as promised. No answer. I'm sure a-dawg (yes giving my friends stupid nicknames. Another Simmons calling card) is afraid considering he already lost money to me by betting Denver would gain 250 rushing yards against Oakland earlier in the year. I took that bet pretty quickly and they barely topped 100. Here's something that should be on everyone's gambling manifesto: Don't bet while shit-faced!

9:36 - Patriots marching. Looks like they have this Denver D on the ropes but John Lynch is looking like a monster on the blitz and is disrupting everything. 3 hurries in the first 2 New England drives, with the last one disrupting Brady on a 4th and 1 leading to the turnover on downs.

9:41 - My mom just walked in. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!?!?

9:55 - Announcer: "And the Broncos have their deepest penetration of the night" (insert own joke here... pun intended) I'm so mature.

10:18 - Asante Samuel is having the game of his life. His INT keeps the Broncos out of the points again. The Broncos look like the stronger team but the Patriots are playing their game (bending but not breaking) and it is at this point when the Patriots usually turn the tide and start making backbreaking plays...

10:19 - I swear to god. 51 yard pass by Brady over the middle.

10:23 - Broncos are putting a lot of pressure on Brady and they seem to be stuffing up drives right when the patriots start getting on a roll. Brady's ability to handle the rush is what makes him great though (It's not a man crush, I promise... but the guy does have 3 superbowl rings...)

10:27 - Vinateri is an animal in the playoffs. Pats up 3-0.

10:31 - Quick 3 and out for Denver followed by Todd Sauerbrun coming in for the punt. At this point I'm thinking, "Isn't that the same guy who was taking steroids prescribed by his doctor when he was with the Carolina Panthers --> Answer is Yes.

10:35 - Faulk fumbles and Carolina scores and Da Crew enters.

10:50 - OK it's halftime and I need time to digest the turn of events... The Patriots just had two fumbles within 18 seconds of each other, both after the 2 minutes warning and in their own territory. I think I see the four horsemen of the apocalypse riding onto the field but then I clean my glasses and realize... the broncos just converted the turnovers into 10 points while gaining a total of 8 yards (not to mention a defensive pass interference call on Asante Samuel for 39 yards, who by the way is having the worst game of his career (and in an amazing show of writing ability I am going to use the double parenthesis and say that, that call was not only horribly wrong but inexcusably late)). The icing on the cake is the fact that the second fumble was caused by the immortal Todd Sauerbrun (guess "the program" really helped him out) At this point I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't the Pats night...

11:21 - As the teams battle for field position I can't help but think about how much the Broncos are disrespecting the TWO TIME DEFENDING WORLD CHAMPIONS. I mean how dare they take the lead in a playoff game against any team that Tom Brady is quarterback for? And how dare they disrespect the Pats offense so that they only score 3 points in a half. It's absolutely ridiculous!

11:34 - Two words for you: Champ Bailey. Too bad he was a bitch and slowed down before getting the touchdown. Ben Watson came from virtually the total opposite corner and knocked the ball away at the one yard line. I had visions of Leon Lett and Don Beebe dancing in my head after this play. Too bad Watson couldn't force the touchback like Beebe did because Mike Anderson walks it in on the next play after a long timeout for the New England challenge. Count with me now: 9 yards gained on broncos scoring drives for 17 points!!!

11:46 - The Pats are dinking and dunking down the field, really playing how they want to be playing but as usual in this game their drive is stalled. What are you going to do? Take the 43 yard field goal right? Automatic right? Vinetieri missed it wide right. Hmmm.

11:57 - Willie McGinest just shoved a teammate on the sideline.... I've never seen these Patriots play a game like this.

12:03 - A-Dawg just asked a good question: "How many fights do you think Ashley Lelie got into as a kid with a name like that?" Now that I've had time to form an adequate comeback: "depends on when he had his growth spurt." OH SNAP!

12:04 - Vince Wilford just tried to get into it with one of the Broncos players after a false start on an extra point attempt. Do I even have to say anything? Oh yeah Broncos 24 Patriots 6.

Nothing else really to say about this... Denver added another field goal. Brady threw another interception. Pats ended up turning the ball over 5 times and most of them were on their own side of the field. 8 penalties for 82 yards isn't horrible but it's just not a recipe for success on the road. You know what though? As lucky and blessed as the Patriots have been the last 5 years, I wouldn't doubt that the Superbowl is going to be bombed or something and going to the Superbowl would have actually been a bad idea. I guess we'll never know (the whole butterfly flaps its wings in Beijing thing). OK maybe that's not the best thing to be writing on the internet. If I don't post in a while I'm probably in prison. They better have a TV there that shows my Seahawks winning the Superbowl.